Ramblings from an untamed mind

cloudsI have a very disobedient mind.

At the ripe age of 28, I still struggle to force it to surrender to my (very reasonable) requests.

It feels like a mischievous, excitable dog that really should be living on a large property. Perhaps on a farm, where it can run freely through open fields. But instead it lives in a small apartment in a big city with an owner who is rarely around. When the owner finally comes home, usually late, the walks are rushed and rarely enough to satisfy. The dog pulls his owner strongly ahead; breathing heavily through the tight leash, eyes bulged.

Before I go into meetings at work, I ask my mind to please stay concentrated. I visualise myself negotiating with my mind like its a hyper dog, standing over it asking calmly, ‘stay…stay…. Then I step into the meeting, take a seat, stare intently at the person talking with heightened focus and before I know it, the dog has run off. The leash is ripped from my hand, I see him bolting full speed ahead and I think “dammit! Not again…”

I don’t know how to force my mind to endure boring meetings that are an essential part of adulthood, and keeping a job.

I have tried to exhaust my mind by taking long walks before I get to work. Literally. I walk roughly 5km every morning before work with the intention of running it ragged in daydreams so that it will be cooperative when I need it to be.

Yet, when I finally arrive to the office, I check in to see if my mind is tired yet. But it looks back at me with its tongue hanging out, breathing heavily and enthusiastically. Looking at me like:

’so…what’s next?’

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One thought on “Ramblings from an untamed mind

  1. Try note taking for meetings.
    For my personal life it has taken a lot of prayer, Bible reading and practice. I still have rough moments where all of sudden 15 minutes have passed and I was “way out there somewhere”.

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